Some refer to thier insiders as troops, flocks or company but we prefer to use family because that's how we work together. We have Littles, Middles, Teens and Bigs. Each of the Littles and Middles is teamed up with a Teen and Big (adult alter). Because our system is fairly large with many young alters we have found that it helps to have designated helpers for the younger ones inorder for us to function. We have some littles that frighten easy so there is always someone bigger to comfort them so that it doesn't disrrupt the rest of the system. We try to give different ones time to do what they like so that none have to "steal" time. For instance we make time for littles to color or make puzzles and some of the older ones have time to do hobbies they like. We have done work on discovering their different strengths so we know who to call on when we are in need. This is all a part of cooperation or co-existing which is what we have chosen to do at this time.
Meet are family...
HOPE- 7yrs old- holds memories for alot of the abuse. She is the helper for communicating with all the littles. Very outgoing and hyper. She will eventually have a page just for littles.
LILBIT & JEWEL- 3 yr old twins
Jewel's name was changed from "little b*tch" -she endured the early verbal abuse from our mother. Jewel is usally very quiet and has only recently begun talking to others besides Lilbit.
Lilbit endured the early physical abuse from our mother. He is very protective of Jewel. In the last few months he has been changing alot because of feeling more safe. Like Hope he is outgoing and hyper and is at the point where he tests limits alot.
JOY- 2yrs old -does not talk much yet. She is very afraid of being left alone.
RAGE- around 7 or 8 yrs old. Her name says it all. She doesn't come out much but when she does it scares the others. Can be self harmful.
STUFFER- 7-9 yrs old- use to steal and hide food from the kitchen when we were younger. When scared or upset she eats until we are sick.
SWEET NOBODY- 6 yrs old Used to be called "Nobody" but she is somebody to us so we call her "Sweet" or "Sweet N". She has a hard time with Fridays and full moons. When she is upset she can keep us up all night until it is daylight out.
BUNNY-around 5 yrs old She is afraid of loud noises. Dishes and pans being banged around upset her from the times at night she would hear our mother throwing dishes at our father. When she first came out of hiding all she would say was "I'm not here" because that is what she always said. It was actually Hope who named her Bunny because she was like a scared bunny rabbit.
JIMMY- 7 yrs old He has not talked at this point. He has trouble with food- very suspicious of it. If it taste funny to him he spits it out or makes us gag. At times he has made us unable to eat or drink.
MAY- 9 yrs old She is very quiet and likes to escape into books. Used to hide in a corner with a book and hope that no one would see her.
BELOVED- 7yrs old Stood guard at night listening for footsteps up the back stairs so she could hide under the bed.
SAM (Samantha)- held/holds the tears that we were not able to cry because it was not allowed. She has learned to cry in secret.
LITTLE ONE- around 1yr old She doesn't talk except through pictures to Hope. Has memories of some ceremonies
REBE- 5yrs old Was left by the mother with cult members. She is very fearful. Big fears are knives, lod noises, thunder, lightening, feeling suffocated and being closed in small places. Wants to know why her mother didn't like her.
STEPHANIE- 6yrs old Took the drugs given to us by our abusers to make us comply with their wishes
THE BOY- 9yrs old He doesn't talk at all but is very self harmful. Would continually bang our head against the wall, floor or fist.
PAIN HOLDER- Could endure a lot of pain without the rest of us feeling it. This makes it extremely hard to try to take care of things like headaches before they get really bad. By the time the rest of us feel things they are usually unbearable
PAINTER-She is around 5 years old. She would paint when we were left early at the daycare so we wouldn't cry.
Abby- 10 yrs old She is very quiet and seldom talks to anyone other than Angie or Hope. We were not aware of her until a few months ago so her story is not yet known.
Maya- 11 yrs old Maya was the one who dealt with most of the child pornography. She is very fearful and has to have all dorrs and windows locked. When she is not frightened she can be quite playful.
Angie- 12yrs old She writes poetry. Always had a lot of expression through poetry. For a long time that is how she communicated.
Toni- 15yrs old She was the rebellious teen, always getting into trouble. She was told that the only school she would graduate from was the girls training school. Anything that goes wrong with us she automatically assumes it was her fault.
Beth- 14yrs old Very angry. She gets mad when we are being manipulated. Really dislikes the mother and gets scared when Rage is around because she reminds her of the mother.
JR- 16yrs old Protector of the littles. He was the son our father never had. Likes to build things and act cool.
Angela- 16 yrs old Our resident comedian and social butterfly. She deals best when being around a lot of people. She used to be the one who took us places where we would be hurt but is now functioning in a different role.
Rene- 17 yrs old Very quiet. She came at 17 to watch over The Boy and keep him from hurting us. She like JR is a protector.
Spokes- She is the spokesperson for our group. When we can't function she is the one who comes out and takes over so we can function.
Jackie- She handled the "pleasure" aspect of the abuse. She is very caring and helps alot with the littles.
Mary- Full of faith. When our faith and hope get low she points us in the right direction. She has a very strong faith in God and is an encouragement to many people.
Debbie- The mothe figure of our group.She first came when we were around 10 when she had to raise our youngest sister. Debbie now comforts and cares for our littles.
Lou- He is the protector for all of us.
Recorder- She speaks only to Spokes and holds all of the memories
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